B00DSGY9XW EBOK Page 8

  "Where have you been?" Maddy asked.

  I only looked down at the floor.

  "What did Bird want? Are you okay?" Maddy asked.

  "I don't want to talk about it." I replied as I climbed into my bed.

  "I expect Master Smith talked to her" I heard Ruth say.

  I looked up from my pillow into Ruth's eyes. How could she possibly know that?

  "Etta told me he was giving you the look." Ruth said.

  "What look? What are you talking about?" Maddy asked Ruth.

  "Aint no secret that Master Smith likes young black girls." Ruth began. "Etta say he was looking her over real good the other day, and from the look of it he done got to her."

  "Alice, are you okay?" Maddy softly asked.

  "No" I quietly said as I buried my head into my pillow.

  "What happened?" Maddy asked.

  "You know what happened" I said louder.

  "He force himself on you?" Maddy asked.

  I didn't reply. There was a long silence.

  "Alice?" Maddy asked.

  I didn't say anything and another long silence was heard.

  "So he didn't make you do anything?" Maddy asked.

  "Not exactly" I finally replied.

  "So if you didn't do anything then what's wrong?" Maddy asked.

  There was another long silence before Ruth broke it.

  "She aint said she didn't do anything, she just said that he didn't make her." Ruth said. Her words were like venomous poison that I had to swallow. At least if he had forced me then I could say that I didn't have a choice and I would be innocent. But I couldn't say that because it wasn't true.

  "Alice what did you do?" Maddy yelled seeming more angry than concerned.

  "I had relations with him." I said softly.

  "Willingly?" Maddy asked.

  I nodded.

  "Why?" Maddy asked.

  "He told me that he would get me out of the chicken house and I could live with him and be his maid." I replied.

  "So you lay with him to be his maid?" Maddy asked

  "Yes" I responded.

  "So you gonna be the master's whore?" Maddy asked.

  I didn't respond.

  Maddy didn't speak to me the rest of the night. Ruth left to go visit her sister and I'm sure to spread the word of what I'd done. I fell asleep in my clothes that night with tears in my eyes and evil thoughts in my mind. I considered running away, but I knew the slave catchers would find me and do worse to me that Master Smith ever would. I thought of killing myself. I didn't want to be a white man's whore. I drifted off to sleep before I could decide what to do.

  I awoke the next morning to the sound of Ruth and Maddy stirring in the cabin.

  "Oh you're up?" Maddy said when she saw my eyes open. “Best be moving if you walking with us."

  "I'm not" I said.

  "Suit yourself, but Etta gone be mad if you late." Maddy said.

  "I'm not working in the chicken house anymore" I whispered.

  "What you mean?" Maddy asked.

  "I have to go meet Master Smith today." I replied.

  "Oh you gonna lay with him every day, is that it?" Maddy asked.

  "No" I said before pausing. "I'm going to be living with him and his wife."

  "What?" Maddy asked.

  "I have to live with him as his maid." I responded. "Will you tell Pearl and Ruby that I love them and I will see them as soon as I get a chance?"

  Maddy dropped her gloves on the floor and stepped over to me.

  "You're leaving?" Maddy asked.

  "Yes, I have to meet Master Smith at the barn instead of going to the chicken house." I replied.

  Maddy's eyes watered up and she wrapped her arms around me.

  "I'm sorry; I didn't know you wouldn't be living here. Will you get to come back at all?" Maddy asked.

  "I don't know." I replied, thinking to myself that I'd made a terrible mistake.

  We said our goodbyes and as they walked up the hill to the chicken houses, I walked up another on to the barn where I would begin my new life as a whore.

  I arrived at the barn as the first rays of sunlight beamed over the mountains in the distance. I looked but did not see Master Smith anywhere. I opened the side door to the barn but it was as black as night inside.

  "Hello?" I called out.

  "What you yelling foe girl?" Came a voice that I recognized.

  "Charlie? What are you doing here?" I asked.

  "It's pick up day, I gotta hitch up the horses." He replied. "Why is you here?"

  "I'm meeting someone" I replied.

  "Well, you better watch out I done seen Masta Miller up and out dis morning. He catch you out dat chicken house and you be in trouble." Charlie replied as he walked past me into the barn.

  "I wasn't sure if Master Miller knew that I was going to be Master Smith's new house slave or not. Come to think of it I didn't know if anyone knew about it. What if Master Smith didn't show up and the other Masters just thought I was snooping around?

  Just as I turned and started toward the chicken house out of fear a voice called out to me.

  "Alice!" But it wasn't Master Smith.

  "Bird?" I said as he appeared from the main house and was walking toward me as fast as his gimpy leg would allow him to.

  "Massa Smith say I needs to fetch you from here and brangs you to his place on the back side of the farm!" Bird said.

  "I thought he would be the one to come and get me." I replied.

  "You know white folks can't do nothing for day selves." Bird said.

  "They can do some things" I replied.

  "Aint you got no stuff?" Bird asked.

  "No" I replied.

  "Well den, come on I show you where we going" Bird said.

  I followed Bird down the dusty dirt road away from the main house, a road that I hadn't been on since arriving at Cedar Grove.

  "So you gone be Masta Smith's new house slave?" Bird asked innocently.

  "Yeah" I replied.

  "You gone like it there" Bird said as if he had no idea what I'd done to get the job.

  "You know why he picked me?" I asked.

  "I reckon cause you pretty." Bird responded.

  "Oh, you think I'm pretty?" I asked.

  "Well you is, aint wrong to tell the truth." Bird said. "Masta Smith like pretty slaves. All his house niggers been pretty."

  "He had a lot of different maids?" I asked.

  "I reckon, I don't count too well but I guess a half dozen I can remember." Bird replied.

  "What happened to the others?" I asked.

  "Oh different thangs." Bird replied.

  "Like what?" I asked.

  "Well, Gin got sold on account she was stealing and Martha went over to be Masta Wright's house slave don't know why though. Den Jane got married so she went to live with her husband in nigger town, she work at the dairy barn and I don't know what happened to the rest of dem." Bird said.

  "So if I get married I can't be a maid?" I asked.

  "I don't rightly know. All’s I know is dat what happen wiff Jane." Bird replied.

  It was good to know that there was a way out for me, though it likely meant going back to the chicken house.

  "You married?" I asked.

  "Aint no good woman want a broke down nigger like me and I aint got no use foe a bad woman." Bird said.

  "What’s the difference between a good and bad woman for you?" I asked.

  "Good woman one who aint gone marry me den be mean to me cause I can't move round too good. Ever body aint nice like you is." Bird said. "Den some women gots moe den one man and dat aint good neither. Specially when duh men don't know bout each other. Dat cause trouble."

  "Why do you think Master Smith likes having a pretty maid?" I asked trying to see if he really didn't know. Everyone else seemed to know what I was doing; I found it hard to believe that Bird was that naive.

  "I reckon foe the same reason anybody want a pretty girl round. They good to look at." He repli
ed.

  It was a long walk to Master Smith's house. Bird took a short cut across one of the recently harvested cotton fields.

  "Dis save us some steps, just watch out for copperheads." he said.

  "Snakes?" I asked.

  "Yeah, sometime day get under the stalks when winter get close. Don't reckon it cold enough yet but you never know." He said.

  One of my few fears was snakes. I'd seen a little girl die once from a snake bite. I might have been suicidal the night before, but lying in bed three days with a fever suffering like she did wouldn't be the way I chose to die.

  We finally arrived after what I guessed was almost an hour of walking. Bird's gimpy leg kept us at a slow pace, though I did enjoy his company. Master Smith and his wife were waiting on the porch in rocking chairs when we arrived.

  "There they are!" I heard Master Smith say as we approached.

  Mistress Smith was not what I had expected. I thought she'd be old and ugly but I was surprised to see that she was very young compared to Master Smith. I guess she might have been in her later twenties. She appeared to be a little on the heavy side but not fat by any means. Her long blond hair stood out on her light blue dress and she appeared quite attractive. I was surprised that Master Smith would prefer a nigger to his beautiful wife.

  Master Smith had shaved the stubble from his face though I suspected he only shaved occasionally. The skin of his chin and jaw was much paler than that of his forehead and upper cheeks. The house was very large, not nearly as big as Master Edward's but still it was intimidating to know that I would have to clean it alone.

  "So you're Alice?" Mistress Smith said.

  "Yes ma'am" I replied.

  "Well I think you will like it here. It's very quiet and I don't expect a lot from my house keeper, just basic cooking and cleaning." Mistress Smith said. "It's just Robert and I here today; my personal servant is on an errand so I will show you around."

  I followed Mistress Smith into the house. She showed me where the kitchen was. I expected that was where I would be spending most of my time.

  "Robert seems to be quite taken with you." She said before pausing as if she were awaiting a reply.

  "I reckon so Mistress Smith" was all I could think to say.

  "Please don't be so formal, call me Ms. Rebekah" She replied.

  "Yes ma'am" I responded.

  Ms. Rebekah went on to show me around the kitchen as best she could but it was obvious that she didn't spend much time there or know where things were.

  "I'll have Sissy show you around better when she returns." She said as I followed her into the main room. "Now Sissy handles my garden and personal needs so you won’t be doing any of that, but I am very strict when it comes to dirt and dust in the house, I can't stand it so your duties will consist of a lot of cleaning chores." She said.

  "Yes ma'am." I responded. "Will I be looking after your children?”

  "I don’t have any children. My only son died several years ago and I can’t have anymore.” Ms. Rebekah replied.

  "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

  "Its fine, you didn't know." She began. "An unfortunate surgery in my youth left me damaged inside. I was lucky to have Charles for seven years. I prefer not to discuss it."

  "Yes ma'am" I responded.

  Ms. Rebekah showed me around the house and then to the main closet where my cleaning supplies were stored then she left me to begin my work. I was nervous. I had no idea what I was doing but I just grabbed a feather dusted and a cloth and began wiping down everything in the house. Ms. Rebekah remained outside most of the day. Late in the afternoon I heard a wagon approaching. I looked out a window and saw a wagon pull up to the front of the house. Two slaves, a buck and a wench got out and began unloading boxes.

  "Alice!" Ms. Rebekah yelled.

  I went outside where I was told to help Sissy and Henry unload the wagon. The two slaves appeared to be about the same age as Ms. Rebekah. Henry was very large and muscular, Sissy was small framed and the top of her head came only to Henry's chest.

  "Sissy, when you are done with that take Alice and show her what is expected of her. I tried to explain it, but you know I'm not good at that sort of thing." Ms. Rebekah said.

  "Yes'um" Sissy replied.

  Once the heavy boxes were unloaded Sissy took me inside.

  "So you Massa Smith new girl huh?" Sissy asked.

  "What you mean?" I asked as if I didn't know what she was talking about.

  "Ever body know what he do with his house keepers. Can you even cook?" Sissy asked.

  I just looked at her.

  "I didn't think so. He already got you?" Sissy asked.

  "What you mean?" I asked.

  "He already put himself on you?" Sissy asked.

  I looked down at my feet, too ashamed to continue looking her in the eye.

  "I thought so." Sissy said as a tear rolled down my face. "Look, I shows you what you needs to know and what you sposed to do, but I ain't doing you work fo you. Just cause you lay with the massa aint mean I taking up your part of duh work."

  "Yes ma'am" I replied.

  "Don't ma'am me. I aint no ma'am!" Sissy replied.

  "Okay" I said.

  Sissy gave me a look that let me know right away she didn't like me too much. Still she had indicated that she would help me, most likely because she felt sorry for me.

  "Does Ms. Rebekah know bout Master Smith and his house keepers?" I asked.

  "Of course she do. Ms. Bekah aint no fool." Sissy replied. "Why else he gone get a slave that can't cook or clean and make her a house keeper. He go pick out a pretty slave girl that will do what he want." Sissy said. "But I know he ain't duh type to force you to do nothing so dat say to me that you want it too."

  "I just wanted out of that chicken house." I said.

  "Now you ain't messing with the hens you gotta mess with the cock!" Sissy said as she laughed a little.

  "What do I do?" I asked, desperate for an answer to the mistake I'd made.

  "I reckon you do what you do. Ain't nobody tell you what to do in yo mess. You gotta do what you thank you need to." Sissy said.

  "I wish I could just go back to the chicken house." I said.

  "You don't want him messing with you huh?" Sissy asked.

  "I thought it would be okay, but I didn't know what I was doing." I replied. "He said it would be better than those smelly houses but it's not. It's worse."

  "Ain't dat duh truth? We all does stuff dat ain't good when we young. Look at Ms. Rebekah. When she was young she let her daddy tell her what to do and now she can't have no babies, no dat she want one with Master Smith, but even if he be a good man she can't have none." Sissy said.

  "What happened to her?" I asked.

  "It's a long story, maybe I tell you one day but you gots to make your own decisions. Slaves don't get to make many of them so you gotta make sure the ones you got are good ones." Sissy said.

  Sissy talked with Ms. Rebekah and I don't know what she said but Ms. Rebekah agreed to let Sissy work with me for the next week or so to help me learn to do what I needed to do. I got to know Sissy really well over that week. I felt like I'd actually made a friend, but just when I thought that my new job would be okay, Master Smith came calling.

  Late one night as I lay in bed asleep from a long day I was awoken to someone climbing into my bed. I started to let out a scream, but he covered my mouth before I could let it out.

  "It's me" Came Master Smith's voice in the dark.

  I felt his hands moving under the covers, down around my legs until his eager fingers found the hem of my gown. He slowly pulled my gown up, letting his hands caress my legs until they reached my inner thighs. I held my legs together tightly as if they joined at the knees. Master Smith pushed them open before I knew what had happened and positioned himself between my knees. I felt the covers rise up as they covered his back but could not see much in the dark room. A moment later I felt his hand at the outer portion of my entrance just before h
is fingers opened me. The warmth that I'd felt beneath the blankets was gone and the cold air of the night rushed in and Master Smith squirmed around for a better angle. I felt his hard cock slap against my left leg and then my right and he moved in closer. A moment later I felt the tip of his cock begin sliding up and down my slit. Between being suddenly awoken, the cold night air and the fact that I did not want to do what I felt obligated to do, I was unable to attain adequate arousal. That is to say my body refused to accommodate his dry shaft.

  Master Smith attempted to plunge himself into me but met resistance that he had not before. Barely more than the tip of his penis made it past my inner folds, I heard him spit in the darkness and then put his hand between my legs before pushing hard into me. His shaft filled my dry womanhood as I closed my eyes. Even in the cold darkness I felt the need to shut them. I hoped that when I opened them again that I would wake up and that this would be a bad dream. He pushed himself in and out of me as hard and as fast as he could. I was thankful that his penis was not larger than it was. His spit soon dried but he was still inside. His dry skin ground against mine in a painful thrusting motion that I can only describe as needles scratching inside me. Desperate to end the pain I reached my arms around to his cold back and embraced him. Within a few minutes I felt my dry pussy quickly get wet and I knew that he'd ejaculated inside me again.

  Once he was done he quickly left the room. I didn't open my eyes until I heard the door close behind him. I waited a few moments and got out of bed. I lit my lamp and went outside and into the barn. I was desperate to be clean so I raised my gown and began splashing water from the horse trough onto my womanly parts as fast as I could. The cold, almost icy water quickly numbed my nether region and I used an old blanket to wipe myself dry. The blanket was old and dirty, but not as dirty to my mind as Master Smith. I didn't know what to do or how to make this stop. I was disgusted with myself and frustrated with my helplessness.

  With tears swelling in my eyes, I returned to the house.

  "I expect he making use of you then." Said Sissy who was standing in the kitchen when I re-entered the house.

  I burst into tears and ran as fast as I could to my room. I sat my lamp down and climbed under to covers burying my face into the old used pillow that I'd been given a week before.